Shame On You
I recently read a few messages on one of the forums that gave me pause. People, (blind people), were talking about how they don't like talking devices in general because of the attention these devices draw to the user when activated in public. I can understand the desire to disturb the people around you as little as possible. Indeed, aside from the fact that the sounds are childish and obnoxious on most talking watches, this is the reason I use Braille watches instead. However, unless I misunderstood the tone of the messages and the direction in which they were aimed, there are apparently some blind people out there who are uncomfortable with these devices because they catch the attention of the sighted people around them and only point out to those sighted people that the person using the talking device is blind. To me, this indicates a certain level of shame about being blind on the part of the talking device user. I don't say this as a judgment of or against anyone who feels this way. I am well aware that one cannot help the way they feel, regardless of the rationality or irrationality of the source of their emotions. Instead, I implore anyone who may feel this way to consider the following...
Your blindness is not a reflection of who you are. How you deal with your blindness is far more useful and valuable to you and the rest of the blind community in educating the general public about blindness and blind people if you display a level of confidence and dignity. My Aunt once told me that when I bump into someone in public, I should not apologize, as was my habit to do. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry," I should say, "Excuse me." Apologizing for bumping into someone automatically gives the signal to that person that you are acknowledging the fact that you did something wrong... that you are to blame for doing them some type of disservice. Saying, "Excuse me," is more an acknowledgement that there was an accident, which is far preferable to apologizing or completely ignoring the fact that you just collided with someone in the first place. If you are ashamed of being blind, the sighted people you encounter in public will pick up on that shame and most of them will translate that instinctively into validation for being uncomfortable around you and possibly anyone else with a disability. What the general public needs to see is blind people making their way in this world, using whatever devices or techniques are required to deal with the cards they've been dealt, and not allowing the rest of the sighted world to get them down.
We blind people have certain limitations, that much is clear. We can not, (or at least should not), drive cars, for example. The safety issues there are undeniable; both for ourselves and for anyone in our paths should we make the attempt. There is no face lost by acknowledging these limitations. Indeed, knowing and understanding your own limitations allows you to more accurately educate the rest of the world about what blind people are and are not capable of. There's already an exaggerated idea in the mind of the public at large about our limitations. People are surprised, for instance, to find out that I still go horseback riding, or discover after watching me water ski that I'm blind. If our goal is to make the public understand that we are people who are differently abled than most others and not objects of pity or even disdain, we need to start treating ourselves differently when in the public eye. Every time you are in public, you are unfortunately forced into being a representative of all the rest of us. The actions you take and the things you say will stick with people in both good and bad ways. When you seem ashamed of yourself for being blind, the guy across the waiting room from you who picked up on that will have the "poor blind person" thought drilled even deeper into his head, even if it's not a conscious thought. Conversely, if you show complete acceptance and comfort ability with your situation as it is, he will go away with the 'Wow, what a great experience" thought in his head, perhaps equally as subconsciously.
I don't mean to sound like I'm preaching. I admit that there are times that I also fall into that embarrassment trap when something uncomfortable happens in public. But I'm trying to change that about myself for the reasons I've stated above, and I realize that my efforts and those of anyone like me would be made far less difficult and we would meet with far more success if this idea was shared among as many members of the blind community as possible. Above all else, here's the most important part... If you can bring yourself to a state of mind that allows you to shed your shame and to not allow your pride to be damaged by your blindness and the adaptations you are forced to make in your life, the better you will feel about yourself, even if the rest of the world never gets it. Please, don't think that I'm trying to write a self-help blog here, I hate that crap. But in this, I feel strongly. You have enough limitations as it is. Don't add to them yourself by being afraid to be who you are, disabilities included. If you don't want others to think any less of you, then don't give them reason to believe that you think less of yourself.
And now, I step down from my soap box.
This article was contributed by Scott from Florida.