Oh, Puppy!
Whoever coined the phrase: “There are no stupid questions” has clearly never worked with a guide dog. Below, you will find the answers to some very stupid (but frequent) questions, what *not* to do when you see a working guide dog, as well as what handlers may wish to say to you in response. I know it is hard to fathom, but blind people are not necessarily sitting by themselves contemplating how to best climb Mount Everest so they can appear on a cheesy TV special. Many have classes, friends, kids, significant others etc to think of and thus they may not appreciate your ongoing commentary about their choice of mobility aid. Often, they have things to do and places to be, so please read the below document carefully. Then perhaps you will not find it necessary to stop the next guide dog handler you see to have a chat with them about their “best friend”, when all they may want to do is get their groceries and head home.
Things to do if you wish to make fast enemies with a guide dog handler:
Make an effort to speak to the handler a time or two, and be sure the dog can recognize you. Make sure you ask the handler for the guide’s name. When walking by one day, shout something to the affect of: “hi *insert dog’s name*! Who’s a good puppy!” This is particularly affective if done across a busy intersection or in a crowded area with numerous breakable or sharp obstacles.
Surreptitiously feed the dog. Make sure it is something that will have a bad affect later (but not so late that the handler will already be at home, as this will not inconvenience him or her quite as much or be nearly as embarrassing). Once the dog is done eating, be sure to inform the handler conversationally that the dog really enjoyed the *insert type of food* you gave it. Add in a light laugh, and walk away secure in the knowledge that the handler will likely be horrified and hoping to God they have a large quantity of paper towels and cleaning agents with them.
When dog and handler are crossing a difficult intersection, there are many things you as a driver can do to let them know they’re doing a good job. Perhaps the easiest one is to honk. This will frighten the dog and leave the handler wondering what exactly is wrong. Yelling things out your window that will be almost impossible to hear is also a good way to achieve the same result if you care to add a bit of a personal touch. If you are a pedestrian, never fear; there are still things you can do to give that bit of help and encouragement. If the team is waiting at a curb, run up behind them, grab the handler’s arm or the dog’s harness and without a word, begin dragging them out into the road. Then leave knowing that you have done a good deed. You helped a poor blind person cross the street (and also gave them a huge scare, but never mind that part). If you’re in the mood for a bit of fun, tell the handler that they can cross when it is clearly unsafe to do so. See if they believe you.
Things *not* to say to a guide dog handler:
“Your puppy must be your best friend!” The approach most handlers take to this is simply to nod and smile. However, if they are of average intelligence, most will probably be slightly offended that you believe they must turn to their dogs to maintain a friendship. Yes, a dog is a man’s best friend, but with the way most say it when referring to a guide dog, one must wonder when they say best friend, if they really mean to say only friend.
“How does he know when to cross the street?” Ok, I’ll give you this one, perhaps it’s not the stupidest question a person could ask. Annoying, but a decent question none the less. I thought most individuals were aware that dogs are color blind, but I suppose not. Really, please don’t ask this question, because it takes too long to give an accurate answer. The truth is that the handler has been taught to know when to cross the street, but if the dog demes it unsafe, he or she will (hopefully) refuse the command to leave the curb. This is called intelligent disobedience. There, dear reader, I have answered your traffic question. We must never speak of it again, or else I will scream.
“Oh, you don’t need to correct him, you are so mean, he was just picking up food from the ground/sniffing/barking…” you get the picture. Oh dear. If you have a dog, it is probable that Fluffy or Fido is poorly trained, and you should go away immediately, before things get awkward. Dogs yelp when they are in pain. If the dog does not seem to be any worse for the wear, go away. Handlers are taught specific methods of dealing with a dog’s undesired behaviours, and most will not appreciate your “training” input. These behaviours, though perhaps natural instincts for a dog, can be detrimental to the working relationship between dog and handler, if not downright dangerous. Sometimes, the lives of the team depend on these corrections. It’s wonderful that you care so much for animals, but go away now.
On the opposite side of the spectrum: “Oh my God! Your dog just grabbed something off the ground/sniffed a bush/ran you into a poll etc. He has to go back in for training right now!” Thank you for informing the handler of something he or she may or may not have missed, but kindly withhold your judgment. Guide dogs are not robots. They make mistakes, they do stupid dog-like things. For the most part, a handler will correct for the undesired behaviour and then life goes on. If the behaviour continues and is deemed to be disruptive to the working relationship between dog and handler, the school is available to assist with the problem.
“I know you’re not supposed to pet them, but I can’t resist.” It’s nice to know that you have such wonderful impulse control. People don’t stop to think that by getting their cuddly dog fix, they are endangering the lives of both the dog and its handler. It can cause the dog to lose focus and lead the handler into a harmful situation, and next time the dog sees the person, it may lose its focus yet again, even if the individual exercises self control the second time around. In a few cases dogs can become so distracted by people that they have to be retired, because they can no longer do their work safely. Think about it. Don’t be selfish. If you want to pet a dog so much, go visit an animal shelter where the dogs *need* that extra bit of love.
“Because it’s a guide dog, do you have to pick up after it? I mean, how would you find what it left behind anyways?” Now, most individuals would probably believe a handler if he or she told them that they catch the excrement coming out like a bat catcher, or that the dog is so well trained and highly intelligent that it has learned to use the toilet. While it is tempting to leave it at that, I suppose I should tell you that yes, it is required to pick up after a dog even if it is a guide dog (and it would be extremely rude not to even if it was not mandatory) and that guide dogs are trained to relieve on leash and on command so that what it has left behind can easily be located. Enough said, right?
“Oh, is it still in training?” Because the handler has not said something like: “Now my noble companion, we must away to the hair salon this fine afternoon” and has simply given the dog directions such as “right”, “left” and “forward”, people seem to assume that surely this means the dog has not been fully trained yet. Guide dogs are not anything above normal dogs. They cannot understand complex requests. It is up to the handler to know where he or she wants to go; the dog’s job is simply to get the team there safely.
“How long does it take to train them?” While annoying due to its frequency, this is another valid question. They begin to get accustomed to places where ordinary dogs aren’t allowed to go at about seven weeks of age by families or individuals who volunteer to take care of them for usually a little over one year. If the dog is thought to be suited for guide work, it will spend usually about five months at a training school learning how to guide. If all goes well, it will begin working at around two years of age. Contrary to popular belief, guide dogs are not born knowing how to do what they do.
“How old is it? What’s its name? Is it a boy or girl? What kind? I have a dog that looks just like it at home! My dog would be perfect for a… seeing dog… Thing.” Answers may vary. Avoid these questions/comments altogether unless you have another motive for talking to the handler. Think about how many people in a day have said those very same things. No, you are not brilliant. Sorry.
Next time you see a dog and its handler in the store, on a bus, in a restaurant or any other place, please leave them alone unless of course you are *gasp*, going to ask the time, or something else non dog related.
This article contributed by anonymous.